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Equipment operator needed

Guess I'm out cleaned enough toilets when I was the green machine, ain't doing it no more.

Figure of speech. I've met operators that think if it ain't got a key, and runs on diesel they are above doing it. Lots of them won't grease their tractor or clean out tracks
 
Yeah.....it just looks like you copied and pasted Dobbs ad and changed a few things here and there.
See Below.
This is an out of town job. You will be out of state most of the time.
Chance to learn the game and pick up on some insights into my own personal brilliance as well as the already established crews.
Right now it is running large utility( farm ) tractors (100+hp) bush hogging ROW in Va. Next job may be the same or you might be on an excavator or a dozer putting pipe in.
Sometimes we work on some pretty rough terrain. This means if you don't know what you are doing, I’ll probably be calling 911 to come pick up what is left of you.
Usually work 10 days on 4 days off. Sometimes we have to modify that a little. Per diem and lodging allowance. Excellent pay.
Must be able to pass a drug test and have a good work ethic.
Common sense and experience will be your best asset. Right now I need someone who can jump on a piece of eq and do the job. At a later date I may be looking for someone to train but right now I just have too much to do.



Qualifications:
Ejucation and manners above all
Show respect and expect respect to and from everyone
Strong back
Must wash ass thoroughly and regularly
General decent nature and sense of humor are a must
Clean background and general non-creepiness
Penmanship (yes for real, you have to sign a time card everyday and if I can’t read your writing I ain’t paying ya.) Wait a minute, don’t worry about penmanship.
Loyalty and dedication. If you don't like your job it won't like you.
Current drivers license and clean driving record. If you can’t drive a car, you sure as hell ain’t getting on my tractor.
Reliable automobile. I have been around long enough to know when you just don't want to come to work
Thick skin. If you can't take some ribbing and occasional verbal abuse you are probably not cut out to work for me.
Flexibility. Sometimes we'll be cutting grass, sometimes we’ll be clearing trees, sometimes we'll be scrubbing toilets. I do it too, if you're too good for it, you are probably not cut out to work for me.
Adaptability. You need to be fairly intelligent and learn at a reasonable clip and retain what you learn.

Disqualifications:
If you love nothing more than talking religion and politics, you're out.
Sticky fingers. If you steal from me I swear on everything holy that I will seek out a sodomy for hire type to pleasure himself with your anus in a terrible and violent way.
A vagina. There is no way in hell my wife would ever let me hire a woman to work for me.
Laziness. You won't see anyone else getting nothing done around here.
Chronic masterbators/mad jacking. Nobody ****s 10 times a day and if I catch you beating off at work, you're fired and ridiculed publicly.
Loose lips. What happens on the job, stays on the job.
Managerial skills and or opinions. I do not care how you would do it. Your opinion and input is welcome and valued unless it's not. Do how I tell you, don’t tell how I do you.
If you can't live without texting or your ******ned smartphone then you won't make it here

You will not be required to leave your phone off or in the car but I do not want anyone who has to be on it all the time or any of the time for that matter. If you have to call your girlfriend or wife every 5 minutes to make sure she hasn't fallen into a pile of dicks you are not right for us.
We operate at mid speed low drag levels so no drama is to be brought along. My life is just fine I do not care to add someone else's problems in there.

I am extremely hard to work for so I need someone who is extremely easy to employ. Do your job and I'll pay you for it. That is the work relationship I am looking to have.

I'd like to hire everyone who applies, unfortunately there is only one position at the moment. If you work hard you'll create the need for another.


Thanks to all who apply and good luck

Please be sure to include your ODT name in your contact info. I am only using ODT for my hiring pool.
That's the basics but are in no way the limits. I am hard to work for and my demeanor is generally sound. There will be NO drama here.
Think about it, I will start accepting applications(paper or verbal) now. Plan to hire Immediately.
Pay is fair and well above what you'd expect
Hours are 7am-5:30pm 15 before and after
I am looking for a new team member and not a short term position. Everybody here does everything here and I will expect you to learn over time. If you are a whiner or are easily butt hurt, save your time and mine and look elsewhere.
Yes I borrowed some of this ( with permission) from nonliberal. NO WAY IN HELL I would steal anything from him.


Thats about enough for tonight.
Brian
I'm not the owner or in hr., but pm me and if you pass my carefully scrutiny, I'll forward you on the the right people. For the past year we've had a run on flakes, adult children and dope heads. Looking for someone who can start ASAP.
A list of starting benefits is included in the attached document.
 
Figure of speech. I've met operators that think if it ain't got a key, and runs on diesel they are above doing it. Lots of them won't grease their tractor or clean out tracks

Your right about that I'm an equipment mechanic, new operators don't have a clue if you take care of it, it's gonna take care of you. Good luck finding some one who wants to earn an honest days living they just want to show up not work get paid.
 
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