Cooking Bloopers

[mfoster]

I know we all have at least one,I have several


my first purchase was a big off-set smoker I purchased 2 big bags of hickory chunks to use for it,I purchased a couple packs ribs, several chickens cut in half,several ribeyes.invited several friends and families for the feast.i smoked the whole cook with the hickory it was not eatable that hickory would almost take your breath away.had to order pizza

 

[InTune]

I know we all have at least one,I have several


my first purchase was a big off-set smoker I purchased 2 big bags of hickory chunks to use for it,I purchased a couple packs ribs, several chickens cut in half,several ribeyes.invited several friends and families for the feast.i smoked the whole cook with the hickory it was not eatable that hickory would almost take your breath away.had to order pizza

Blue smoke good...White smoke bad

 

[Bulldog Man]

I have burned food up before not keeping a close enough eye on it

 

[41mag]

It doesn’t take much….I only use a couple small chunks for smoking . Very little to none for actual cooking.
You should seek out some instruction on line or from a friend that knows.
Good luck - I hope you find the way and soon are able to properly smoke your meats and fish to perfection …..you will eventually learn what a joy it is to cook great food and if you can say you prepared it yourself (with pride) and be able to share with your friends.

 

[joel2000]

Had one just a couple weeks ago. I do a spatchcock chicken ever so often. I smoke it and the wife and I will have a meal off of it and I’ll shred the rest and put it in bags for pot pies and chicken salad.
The last one I did was totally screwed. Worst tasting and overcooked bad. Used a new and different rub and overcooked. Had to throw the whole damn bird away.

 

[Cadcom]

In my early days with cast iron. New cast iron skillet, high heat and eggs. I think I ended up using a chisel to get them rascals off the bottom of that pan.

 

[DinkyDau]

Back in the 70's my Bride put some eggs on to boil....That was at 23:00 hrs. She fell asleep and in the early morning, I awoke to a loud explosion..I ran down stairs to find the pot empty and smoking...Then I saw the carnage, shell fragments were embedded in the popcorn ceiling, cabinets and in the walls..

 

[buellbrewer]

I volunteered to be on the cook crew in college for a outdoor lab down on Sapalo Island. We were there for a week tranquilizing deer /pulling blood samples. I had ordered a tube of spaghetti and thought it was the 'right amount' for the 18 people there. I put the whole tube in the boiling water and had noodles swell up and start coming out the boiler. I threw two handfulls out in the yard and still had enough to feed 40 more people. Ive since become better cook lol.

 

[edindah]

Many years ago, my brother in law and I used to schlep BBQ on the weekends and for a large reunion once a year in Blue Ridge, GA. We catered weddings, festivals, Christmas parties, smoked green hams and turkeys for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We got hired to cater a Hawaiian Luau party for a private club and they wanted a pig roasted. They agreed to a piglet. We had never smoked one, but that did not stop us. A little research and we were off! After X number of hours, we checked and it was BLACK and CRISPY. O heck. O %&%*&#I !!!! The rest of the meat was done to perfection, but the piglet was cremated. After giving it some serious thought, I ran down to the local 5 & 10 and picked up some stuff and returned home. We finished packing all food and supplies for the luau and set off to set up. We arranged the serving line with start to finish items: Plates, silverware, napkins, food, more food, centerpiece, more food....

You could hear the laughter from the folks. They were breaking line to look at the centerpiece and breaking out cameras (yep, before cell phones!).

I had run down to the store and bought a little girls two piece bathing suit and a pair of very bright rimmed sunglasses, dressed the blackened piglet in the bathing suit and sunglasses, laying on a towel with a bottle of SPS15 suntan oil and a kids book on the towel. It looked great. We got away with charring their special request and we NEVER smoked a whole pig afterwards.

 

[palmettomoon]

When I bought my first stick burner, I FOOLISHLY tried to cook some ribs with mesquite. LOL, what the **** did I know? I had to toss them. Couldn't be eaten. Terrible. I never use mesquite now, only some fruit wood or hickory for smoke and that rarely more than the first two hours of the cook.

Reminds me of a story some friends told about a pig cook at Long Creek. They got to "toking" and decided to put 100lbs of charcoal in a travel cooker (200 gallon oil tank type, on wheels) and lit it with the pig inside. Closed the lid. Hilarity ensues when they can't get close enough to the handle to open it, too hot, no welding gloves. They had to cut down a sapling tree to use as an opener for lifting the lid. Melted and flattened the tires too.

The skin looked like a victim of a nuclear blast, the meat was tender and delicious though.

Same guys would take a 55 gallon barrel and fill it 1/3rd full of cooking oil, fire up the burner underneath then dump a 25lb box of chicken wings in it to fry.