No Nursing Home for ME

[moosensquirrel]

Whatever happened to the practice of "kicking the can"

 

[fattboyzz]

Sound like a home for the holiday and revolving neighbors.

Tired of you neighbor ? Tomorrow is new neighbor day

 

[STI]

No nursing home for me.... I’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $59.23 per night.
Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5-worth of tips a day and you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today .
And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii ? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . Or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grand-kids can use the pool.
What more could I ask for?
So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin

Well....having someone wipe your ass is priceless.

 

[ItBeMe]

But will they wipe your ass for you?

Just drag it Across the bed you get clean sheets every day. Lol

 

[Gubydooc]

I'm sold!

 

[41mag]

I am in !!

 

[Blaze]

That actually sounds like a viable plan...for you. Personally, I've got congestive heart failure, I'm just going to die before I get that far along... LOL

 

[lostchild]

For such an occasion, I picked up a reliable оrganization offering home care. These assistants know how to show care and support for those people who need it, so I was very encouraged by the means and the way this organization picked up ( https://homecareassistance.com/palm-beach ). I think it might be an interesting choice for you as well. In any case, it is essential for those people who need help and care, especially if they have an illness. In such cases, you definitely need someone who will be there for you.

Until one bad apple starts stealing from you. Then it’s a nightmare you didn’t need.