Little Johnny at the Vatican

[USMCDAWG03]

Little Johnny at the Vatican
One day, after working very hard in school, little johnnys teacher, Mrs. Rottencrotch decided to reward the class by taking them to visit the vatican city, Johnnys lifelong dream. When they got there, Little Johnny and his classmates wandered around, admiring the cathedral. As it came time for the class to leave, Mrs. Rottencrotch noticed Little Johnny standing in the corner, visibly upset. She walked over to him and asked whats was troubling him. "Well, I really wanted to get my picture taken with the pope" he said. Mrs. Rottencrotch apologized saying that it was time for them to go, to which Little Johnny threw his camera in anger. As they turned to leave the vatican, Mrs Rottencrotch and Little Johnny were shocked to see the Pope, in the flesh, at the far end of the hall. Mrs. Rottencrotch gave Little Johnny a nufge and said " go say hi johnny." Little Johnny walked slowly to the pope, still in awe. Mrs. Rottencrotch stood back, smiling as the pope made the sign of the cross in front of Little Johnny. When he finished, Little Johnny walked back to Mrs. Rottencrotch, bawling his eyes out. Mrs. Rottencrotch ran up to little johnny and asked what was wrong. "We came all the way to the Vatican, I wait all day to meet the Pope, and all he had to say was ' listen you little s**t, pick up that camera, take that c*nt teacher, and GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE!!!"

 

[Smoothie]

I always love a good Little Johnny joke.

 

[45ak1911]

LOL

 

[mattp38]

Lol

 

[grainchaser]

I always love a good Little Johnny joke.

In little Johnny's English class, the teacher asked the students to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Susie piped up with "The sky is definitely blue", to which the teacher replied, "No, little Susie, when it storms the sky turns dark and black, and is definitely not blue." Little Mikey chimes in, "The grass is definitely green", the teacher said, "When winter comes, the grass dies and turns brown, so the grass definitely is not green." Little Johhny, barely able to contain himself, asks "Teacher, teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher replied, "why no little Johnny!" Little Johnny said "Then I have definitely sh*t my pants!"

 

[Sneakypete]

In little Johnny's English class, the teacher asked the students to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Susie piped up with "The sky is definitely blue", to which the teacher replied, "No, little Susie, when it storms the sky turns dark and black, and is definitely not blue. Little Mikey chimes in, "The grass is definitely green", the teacher said, "When winter comes, the grass dies and turns brown, so the grass definitely is not green. Little Johhny, barely able to contain himself, asks "Teacher, teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher replied, "why no little Johnny!" Little Johnny said "Then I have definitely sh*t my pants!"

 

[TresMonos]

We did a Vatican tour a few years ago that included St. Peters Basilica. The whole place is just too much for words, we were in awe really. I, however, being the good little instigator that I am brought a rubber chicken on our trip...the kind that crows when you squeeze it. The plan was to take photos in various locations with it like the Travelocity Gnome.

WELL, on this day that chicken was in my cargo pants pocket. In the Basilica there is a special door called the Holy Door (I think) that is only opened during Jubilee. Just inside is a really nice and really old font of Holy Water.

You may know where this is going next......I baptized that Rubber Chicken in the Font of Saint Peter's Basilica (even said some words over it). My wife FTFO! I mean really FTFO.....and that Rubber Chicken is now a holy icon at my Mother in Law's house in Tampa. Apparently, that's not cool,,,,who knew?

I guess I was channeling Little Johnny that day.

 

[Bullfrog81]

In little Johnny's English class, the teacher asked the students to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Susie piped up with "The sky is definitely blue", to which the teacher replied, "No, little Susie, when it storms the sky turns dark and black, and is definitely not blue. Little Mikey chimes in, "The grass is definitely green", the teacher said, "When winter comes, the grass dies and turns brown, so the grass definitely is not green. Little Johhny, barely able to contain himself, asks "Teacher, teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher replied, "why no little Johnny!" Little Johnny said "Then I have definitely sh*t my pants!"

Funny as Sh*t.

 

[safellows1967]