i need your help odt passing of a family member

[turnipgreen28]

I had a little to many last night and to those who replied thank you very much ...just had to get it off my chest !!!

 

[wearehiredguns]

Just hang in there buddy.. Remember the Good Times..

 

[Jahoosafat]

Time heals my friend. Prayers sent.

 

[buttplate]

@59 I and many of my friends have been where you are right now. I lost my dad several years ago and not many day pass without me thinking about him. There are a few things to remember:
1. Taking a drink is ok but being drunk will not help you cope.
2. Spend the time he hae left with him, the time you spend with him now will be precious tou down the road.
3. Last but not least, you mentioned finances and your sister. I am not sure if you anticipate lssues with money after your dad's passing but no amount of money, in my opinion, is worth me fighting with my sister over it. My dad would not have wanted us to fight and we would not do it.

I am very fortunate, my mom is still with us but she knows in her heart and mind that there will be no bickering over that issue when she is gone.

I wish you the best and your dad a peaceful passing.

 

[no clever name]

im so lost in this soon to be family battle of inheritance.. its just me and my younger sis that is way more financially stable than me .
,,

Since this is the first thing you put in the post I assume you expect some type of legal battle. I've seen first hand how money & assets can turn what you thought were loving family members into ruthless, opportunistic vultures and in the worst case common thieves.

Again, assuming you expect a legal battle over the estate and negotiating reasonably with your relatives is out of the question, my best advice is to:

1. Get a lawyer on retainer or at least go to one of the legal clinics for help. Don't let any other family members know you're seeking legal help, especially if they can afford a better lawyer than yours.

2. Create an inventory with photos and video of all physical assets, cars, house, guns, tools, jewelry etc. You'd be surprised what comes up missing. If things do come up missing and you find who took them, when confronted the vultures usually say, "Oh your dad/mom wanted me to have it." That statement is never followed by, "I'm sorry here it is." If it's an item that means something to you, you'll have to be the bad guy and tell them "No, my father wanted me to have it please return it ...Now."

3. Start getting copies of all relevant paperwork, bank statements, retirement accounts, 401ks' etc. Make sure no one else has access to the accounts. Once an account as been drained the chances of getting anything back are practically zero.

If there isn't a will at least have your father videotape what he would like done with his assets before he passes, if your sister and the other family members are reasonable people this may be all that is needed to avoid a legal battle.

 

[buttplate]

Since this is the first thing you put in the post I assume you expect some type of legal battle. I've seen first hand how money & assets can turn what you thought were loving family members into ruthless, opportunistic vultures and in the worst case common thieves.

Again, assuming you expect a legal battle over the estate and negotiating reasonably with your relatives is out of the question, my best advice is to:

1. Get a lawyer on retainer or at least go to one of the legal clinics for help. Don't let any other family members know you're seeking legal help, especially if they can afford a better lawyer than yours.

2. Create an inventory with photos and video of all physical assets, cars, house, guns, tools, jewelry etc. You'd be surprised what comes up missing. If things do come up missing and you find who took them, when confronted the vultures usually say, "Oh your dad/mom wanted me to have it." That statement is never followed by, "I'm sorry here it is." If it's an item that means something to you, you'll have to be the bad guy and tell them "No, my father wanted me to have it please return it ...Now."

3. Start getting copies of all relevant paperwork, bank statements, retirement accounts, 401ks' etc. Make sure no one else has access to the accounts. Once an account as been drained the chances of getting anything back are practically zero.

If there isn't a will at least have your father videotape what he would like done with his assets before he passes, if your sister and the other family members are reasonable people this may be all that is needed to avoid a legal battle.

Good luck and best wishes to you and your dad