I've been through more divorces than anyone else that has posted in this thread, by a large factor.
The quote I left is not necessarily true. You would be surprised how many adolescents, especially girls, actually seek structure and organization in their lives, and expect their parents to provide it. The main thing about providing structure is to keep open lines of communication and avoid arbitrary decisions. Also appreciate that "Tweens" live in a completely different world than even 30 somethings. I can't emphasize how important that communication is - make sure they understand that they can call, or come to you any time they want to.
"50/50" is a myth. The children have to go to school and have a place to put down their heads at night, and that's going to be home, and that circle of friends is going to be their world. You are already on the right track track by insisting on large blocks of time with each child. The only "50/50" I've ever seen work, the parents owned a nice house in an upscale neighborhood in a good school district - the children stayed there 24/7/365 and every 6 months one of the parents moved into the house.
For you personally, avoid the pity party, and avoid the feeling that you have to "get back in the game." I don't know you or your interests, but you have church - and there are probably other social groups in your community that provide an avenue to meet like minded people (read "women"). We live in a society that considers such in person interaction "lame" but it;'s a much better and satisfying way to meet people and establishing relationships than swiping left or right.
Finally, take this to the bank - we all like to think that whatever issues we are facing are insurmountable. I can assure you that any issue that comes up in your divorce has come up 100's if not thousands of times before and the parties, the court, the lawyers, the children, by and large come through it o.k.
