Application To Date My Daughter ( Guys , you might want to print this )

[sparked1]

Ok, were just talking in circles here so lets start over.

My Perspective

I meet a girl. She is intelligent, well educated, and very physically attractive. I get up the courage to approach her and I get her phone number. I call her, get a date with her, and take her out for some dinner/drinks. The first date goes great and we really feel some chemistry between us. I take her home, maybe kiss her goodnight, and thats it. A few days later we have another date. Then a few days after that we go out again. Now were really starting to get close to each other and on our next date she comes home with me and we have sex. By this time I am really falling for this girl and the relationship is becoming serious enough that she asks me to meet her parents.
Im not thrilled about the idea but I know it is important to her so I ride over to meet her at your house. You meet me, decide within the first 5 minutes that you dont like me, and we have a tense dinner where you constantly give me dirty looks and interrogate me about all the things you dont like about me. I dont really understand your hostility so I just assume youre an a$$hole and leave it at that.
Dinner is over, I thank you and her mother for your hospitality and I leave. I then spend the rest of the relationship doing my best to avoid you, you spend the rest of the relationship telling her how Im not good enough, and she is constantly upset because her dad and her boyfriend cant get along. The relationship runs its course and none of your attempts to intimidate me have any impact on the end results.

Your Perspective

You have a little girl and you spend 18-24yrs raising her and doing your best to protect her from harm. One day she mentions that she is dating this new guy and she really likes him. Your dad reflexes kick in and you make it very clear that you would like to meet him so that you can decide whether or not you approve of this random stranger that is suddenly in your daughters life. So you arrange an investigation and disguise it as a casual family dinner. I show up on time but uh oh, Im on a motorcycle. And to make it even worse, its a "crotch rocket" (that always goes over well with dads) So I havent even shaken your hand yet and already there is strike one.
We meet, exchange greetings, and sit on the porch for a while before dinner. Suddenly your daughter and her mother disappear and you are left alone with me. You make a "joke" about having to bury me in the woods if I hurt your daughter and watch for my reaction. I give you a blank stare or maybe even roll my eyes. You think, "This kid has no respect for me and I bet he doesnt respect my daughter either." There is strike two.
We have dinner and you stare at me the whole time evaluating my every move. You completely gloss over the parts where I talk about my background, my education, and my aspirations and you focus on the fact that I dont engage you when you disguise your threats as jokes. That is strike three.
I thank you for dinner, shake your hand, and leave. You spend the rest of the evening debriefing your daughter and warning her of how dangerous I am. She just doesnt get it and she is visibly upset. She continues to date me and you spend the rest of the relationship being frustrated because she just cant see why you know best.

Herein lies the problem. You think taking a girl out on a second date and getting to know her for a "few days" entitles you to sex. THere is really nothing else after sex. Are you willing to marry her? Maybe, maybe not, but I'll tell you one thing, why would buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

This is widely accepted as "normal" by today's standards, and admittedly, that is how I pretty much operated as a young lad. I won't pretend not to know where you're coming from on this. However, I remember back then those girls that were hard to get and did not "put out". Those were the girls that had, not just "manly" fathers, but smart caring fathers that instilled good sense into them. My feeling is that my daughter is not a holster that you can try for a few weeks and if you don't like her you can change her for a different one. I don't believe my daughters should sleep around with 5 or more different guys before finding "the right one". As much as it contradicts everything I did as a young man, that is exactly where I draw my experience from and exactly the kind of thing I will teach them to avoid. You and many others may find your post above fairly normal, and even reasonable, but I simply won't accept it. If my daughters decide to go against what I have taught them over the years, then I must respect their decision as they will eventually become adults. While I will be disappointed if the situation you describe is the result, I will still love them and make the best of it. Sometimes that's all you can do.

 

[streetroc]

Herein lies the problem. You think taking a girl out on a second date and getting to know her for a "few days" entitles you to sex. THere is really nothing else after sex. Are you willing to marry her? Maybe, maybe not, but I'll tell you one thing, why would buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

This is widely accepted as "normal" by today's standards, and admittedly, that is how I pretty much operated as a young lad. I won't pretend not to know where you're coming from on this. However, I remember back then those girls that were hard to get and did not "put out". Those were the girls that had, not just "manly" fathers, but smart caring fathers that instilled good sense into them. My feeling is that my daughter is not a holster that you can try for a few weeks and if you don't like her you can change her for a different one. I don't believe my daughters should sleep around with 5 or more different guys before finding "the right one". As much as it contradicts everything I did as a young man, that is exactly where I draw my experience from and exactly the kind of thing I will teach them to avoid. You and many others may find your post above fairly normal, and even reasonable, but I simply won't accept it. If my daughters decide to go against what I have taught them over the years, then I must respect their decision as they will eventually become adults. While I will be disappointed if the situation you describe is the result, I will still love them and make the best of it. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Now that is a very intelligent and articulate rebuttal sir. I appreciate that.

I think this entire debate is caused by the norms that our different generations have adopted. In my generation sex is nothing dirty or shameful. It is a normal part of being a human being and it isnt something that should be frowned upon in most situations. Hooking up with random strangers for drunken one night stands is still taboo however safe sex between couples that have an emotional interest in one another is perfectly fine. (actually in my generation if you have been dating someone for several months and you havent had sex it would be considered rude.) A wise man once told me that it is "easy to find lust, hard to find love" and that is the philosophy that I have applied to most of the women I have dated. If I just wanted to get laid I wouldnt have to take her out to dinner, open doors for her, or act like a gentleman at all. I do those things because I am not interested in her for sex but rather for compainionship. Sex is just what men and women do when they are physically attracted to each other. Having a relationship and emotional intimacy with someone is much harder to find and much more rewarding.

You dads also seem to assume that your daughters are helpless victims that we trap with our false charms so that we may violate their souls. The truth is women are as sexually driven as men are. They have innate desires and needs just like men do. However it probably makes you very uncomfortable to think of your daughter having her own sexual desires so its much easier to blame the guys she dates. After all she secretly didnt want to sleep with them, they just tricked her right?

Now lets set this straight while we are at it, I do not feel "entitled" to sex no matter how many dates I take her on. You say there is nothing else after sex yet I say there cant be anything UNTIL sex. Its not getting the milk for free, its more like going for a test drive before you buy the car. I honestly wouldnt want to date a girl who was a virgin (and for that matter, I do not know ANY girls that are still virgins after the age of 18-20) because she would be so inexperienced. What goes on behind closed doors does not make a girl a "slut" or a "whore", it just makes her an sexually desireable adult female. I want a girl who is very polite and well mannered in public as well as being somewhat experienced in private. There is nothing wrong with that.

Oh and for the record, I cant think of anyone who has ever bought a cow just for a steady supply of milk. Once the cow has been bought the milk usually slows to a trickle. At least thats what all my married friends keep telling me.

 

[ASSAULTLIFE]

What's your daughter look like?

 

[Ken Ford]

Ok, sorry to all the Dads in advance but I am just going to be honest with yall...


No offense to any of you dads out there but usually when I date a girl and her dad acts like a hardass or tries to scare me I just ignore him. I dont play into your games and Im not intimidated by you. If I am dating your daughter then she is old enough to make her own decisions. Oh and dont let her trick you with the "Were going to a party and then hes going to drop me off at my friends house for the night" excuse. There is no party, shes coming back to my place and we are both going to wake up sweaty and hungover the next morning.

Honestly I just think its embarassing when grown men act like that. I understand that she is your daughter and that your love for her is unconditional. I can also promise you that I will respect her and treat her like a lady and that I would never do anything to make her feel uncomfortable. If I am DATING your daughter (dating is different than hooking up) then I am interested in finding a connection with her on an emotional level. But you need to realize that we are in our 20's (or at least she is over 18) and that there is nothing dirty or shameful about sex. Besides, odds are if I am meeting you then we are already past the point of having sex anyway. And some of you are probably thinking "Wow kids are so loose these days, Im glad my 19yr old daughter isnt doing that!" Dont fool yourself. Shes just good at hiding it from you.

Your daughter is a very attractive and vibrant young woman and that is why I am dating her. It has nothing to do with whether or not you think I am good enough for her. Your permission is not required. (and if you really want her to come running to me, just tell her that you forbid her to see me) I have no problem with you, and I dont want any problems with you. But keep in mind that I am younger than you and chances are I am also much bigger and stronger. No matter how big and bad you are in your own mind I do not feel threatened by you. So instead of trying to get me to promise you that I wont even look at your daughter from the neck down lets just sit down, have a beer, and talk like men. Then you might realize that I am an intelligent and well spoken young adult and that is why your daughter chose to date me in the first place.

Sounds like you make the same mistake most young, inexperienced, men make. In your post you show that you under estimate others that you do not know. NEVER under estimate ANY potential opponent.