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Anyone need a full time tracker/guide?

Cavemanjoe

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I've decided to go full outdoors as a career instead of just my off days.

I'm tired of being shorted hours, getting rained out (can't repair roofs properly in the rain), and generally just not enjoying life through my work. I say screw that, I'm finally going to do it.

No, I don't have any professional experience. Never been to a guide school, packer class, or camp cookery course.

I'll put an edge on your axe that'd bring your granddad to tears.
You'll have had no idea that your knife could be so sharp, or your rifle so accurate.
I can carve a new hatchet handle from green wood, freehand.
When it comes to coyotes or crows, Conway Twitty's got nothin' on me.

I can track rabbits, hogs, deer, bear, elk, mountain lions, opossums, raccoons, and dogs, cats & horses (if needed), and I can do it in the rain or at night, whether the animal is bleeding or not, calm or spooked, across almost any surface or through debris except for solid rock or very rocky (large rocks) ground.


I'm good at choosing and packing gear, whether it be for a hike lasting an hour or so for two, or a two-week expedition for ten. Whether it's an ultralight trek or a new-wilderness-gadget tryout session, bowhunting in freezing weather, or a prarie dog shoot in the desert in sporadic winds. Clothing, food, water, shelter, medicine, weapons, and tools are carefully selected to match the environment, each individual, and the chosen activity.


I've baked biscuits to go with squirrel fricasses and creamed pearl onions and baked beans, with mud and sticks around an open fire. My 'beer-battered rabbit fingers' are my own little slice of heaven, eaten with caramelized sliced carrots served with maple syrup, thickened a bit by heating and adding a pinch of brown sugar and a few drops of apple cider vinegar. Eaten with a freshly made spoon right out of the perfectly seasoned cast-iron pots and pans. (Or just a plain wooden plate or bowl, if you're into that fancy city stuff.)

Free tips-

1:Eating a handful or two of sliced cold pickles an hour or two before you head out will keep mosquitoes off you.
2:Ticks, chiggers, and bedbugs hate the taste of blood with sassafras tea in it. A nice cold glass or two the day before you head out and chances are you won't even have to check your ankles when you get back.
3:A clean old penny taped to a wasp or hornet sting for 15 minutes takes the fight right out of the welt.
4:Take an old pure silver spoon with you fishing. After you're done handling the fish, rub the spoon all over both hands, then wash them in warm water. Fishy smell is gone.
5:Loose axe or hatchet head? Snug it up as best you can, then stick the axe upside-down in a bucket of water overnight. The water will soak into the wood, swelling the fibers, and voila! A nice tight axe head in the morning.

Consider me for any opporitunities that arise. I didn't have a smartphone until last year, and never had a thing for cameras, but I'd be more than glad to show you my skills should you be in doubt (which you more than likely are).

Thanks for reading, and God bless.
 
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Although I don't have a need for your services, I wanted to give you a word of encouragement. It sounds to me like you have the right skill-set for the job. best wishes to you in your endeavor!!!
 
Thought I'd add something, since I know 'packer' means 'guy who carries everything' more than 'guy who stows gear'.

I've routinely carried 50# bags of animal feed since I was a kid, ammo cans full of rocks, sandbags, and guys loaded down with gear during my time in the service, and more recently rolls of torch-grade granulated roof repair membrane, rolls of 40- to 60-mil thick rubber membrane, buckets of tools, coatings, etc., hauled generators and supplies 30+ Feet on a rope with no pulley, and carried 27-to 40-foot ladders when there was no building-mounted roof access.

Basically, I can haul stuff, too. I also have no problem working unsupervised, repairing fencing, filling rabbit and gopher holes in fields,, etc.
 
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