Men need Men

[JDUB]

'member this?
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Never saw this. Holy smokes. Really normalizing this.

 

[BLIP]

sometimes men gather strength just from reading what other men write... I have never received good solid long term advice that'was'honest, and carried the understanding that men and women do not think alike... I use to coach girls soccer, I spent a lot of time with the soccer moms... enertaining? Very... when the time ended I would seek out my buddies find women we would pay to bring us'food and drink. and not have to listen to all the female drama they appear to thrive on.

 

[superprime]

My father died when I was 10, and my parents divorced when I was 6. We didn't get to have many man to man conversations, but we had a few. My step dad from 8-18 (my mom married a few times in my life), was a major influence. He taught me how to hunt, fish, build and repair things, drive, hand load, etc. I tried to move in with him when my mom divorced him, but she threatened to stop paying for my college. We grew apart as I grew older, which I regret, and he died about 2 years ago. I try to instill the same things in my boys and daughter. My oldest boy has little interest in any of those things, my middle boy likes most of those things. My daughter is getting into more and more, just bought her her own first little set of tools.

I find if you really reach out to your male friends and ask them if they are ok, most will tell you yes at first, and then once they open up, its a resounding no. I know I'm not. I battle depression on a daily basis. I work 2 jobs just to make sure we have enough, and most of the time, it isn't enough. If something needs fixing I fix it, even if I have no clue how (youtube is your friend). If something needs doing, I do it, even if I'm strung out from lack of sleep. Sometimes I just sit in the shower, in the dark, and wonder if I'm good enough. There is no roadmap to being a good dad. There is no manual to being a good husband.

Probably more than I needed to share...thanks for reading though.

 

[JDUB]

I find if you really reach out to your male friends and ask them if they are ok, most will tell you yes at first, and then once they open up, its a resounding no.

Exactly, the question isn’t asked nearly often enough, or sincerely enough. We tend to be all ”hey man how are you? Good.” Generically as if passing an acquaintance at the water cooler. We all have something that we are battling. My friend and neighbor tragically lost their son, age 5, in April. It has been hard for our little community. Our kids play, we play...what have a pretty tight group. Things have changed since and I check on him often. They are strong but I make a point to check on him and be with him often. I can’t imagine the sorrow he deals with on a daily basis...actually I can. Im a father. But thing is, everyone has a mask they wear. The Japanese say you have three faces,

1-that you show the world
2-that you wear for your friends and family
3-the third face, is yours alone and show no one, it is the deepens sense of yourself and the hardest to allow out

Truth is we are not all perfect, even the ones that look like they have it all figured out. They dont.

There is no roadmap to being a good dad. There is no manual to being a good husband.

This cant really be handed down generationally as a manual but some of it is. Some of it is inherent in DNA whether you like it or not. Most is learned. But you can change it, acknowledge it. we all take things day by day because most of us are so busy building relationships, careers, houses, families and LIFE in general. I believe it takes a village, thats how it all started, and for good reason. We as humans need Each other. Where we have weakness another can help fill that and you for them.