• ODT Gun Show & Swap Meet - May 4, 2024! - Click here for info

A man walked into the post office.....

Pfoneman

Wolf Icon
Frontiersman
53   0
Joined
Mar 19, 2018
Messages
841
Reaction score
786
Location
Dacula
So I went to the PO today to mail some items I sold on OTD. I got there right as it opened. First car in the lot. On the front door it says. For OUR “yours and mine” protection, we strongly suggest you wear a mask when entering this facility. “Suggest”. I ain’t drinking the kool-aide so I ain’t wearing a mask any where that I need to go unless it’s mandatory. Go into the lobby and up to the door to the postal area. Again “We strongly blah blah”. Again. Ain’t gonna do it. Walk in. First inside. The democratic postal worker, “excuse me sir, do you have a mask?” Yep. You mind putting it on? Yep. It’s a suggestion, not mandatory. “I understand, but we strongly suggest....”. Sorry, ain’t wearing it unless you tell me it’s mandatory. So I get the, “stupid a$$, racist honky” look. He fumbles and fumbles and finally says, “I’m having trouble logging into the system, you may wanna use the self serve kiosk in the lobby.” Cool, my package is already labeled, I only need priority postage. Go to the machine, get my postage, head to the drop box. Sign “Out of order, please see clerk inside.” I go back inside. By this time there’s 5 or 6 people in line. Excuse me, can I just put this package on the counter? No, you’ll have to wait in line. But you suggested I use the kiosk and the drop box says out of order. I know, but you’ll have to wait in line, I see a problem with your package. So I stand in line. 20 mins. Sir, can I help you? I look at him like he’s a f”@*ing idiot. You said there was a problem with my package and I needed to wait in line. Oh, right. You have the address on one side and the paid postage on the other. So. The common practice is to put them both on one side. Why? Because what if the handler just looks at the one side and thinks no postage was paid and “Returns to Sender?” Then he’s an idiot. But the common practice is to put both on one side. Ok. They giant postage label your machine printed won’t fit on the side with the label on this little box. Well, sir, you should have thought about that when you chose your package. I did. Usually I come to the counter and the clerk prints. 2”x3” postage label that would have fit. But your self serve kiosk prints a postcard size label that won’t fit on the same side. Sir, I’ll take care of it this time but you need to remember the next time you use the PO. Whatever. I’m gonna take care of it for you this time, but please put them both on the same side next time. It’s for your convenience. What is the zip code of your destination? It’s on both sides of the box. Your label and mine. Oh. Is there anything... explosive, perishable, blah blah blah..... No. Sir, did you know it a crime to lie to a postal clerk about a packages content? Yes. Well you just did. How. You have a battery warning label on the box. I know. One of the items has a watch battery in it. But, batteries are considered explosive. AAAarrgghh! Ok. No problem. I put a warning label that package contains batteries as your website says you have to do. But you told me the package does not contain anything considered an explosive. Batteries are explosive. Fine. Sorry. Package contains an item that’s considered explosive. Well then. This package can only go by ground. It can’t be shipped by air. IT’S GOING FROM NORTH OF ATLANTA TO SOUTH OF ATLANTA, IF YOU IDIOTS PUT IT ON A PLANE YOU F@*+ING DESERVE TO BE BLOWN UP. Well, I’m gonna have to mark this package ground only. To which he proceeded to put “ground only” stickers on every inch of the package that wasn’t covered by the labels. Came back to the counter, looked at his bling watch and smirked. Sir, is there any thing else I can help you with today? I leaned in and whispered. You’re a f*^king idiot. Why is that? Because you were pissed that I wouldn’t wear a mask so you thought you’d waste as much of my time as you could and embarrass me in front of the people. But all you did was force a non mask wearing white boy to ignore your social distance for about a half hour. Think about that, dumbass. I cleared my throat with a slight cough, smiled and walked away as he chewed on that thought.
Moral of the story? It ain’t gonna take much to out think and out maneuver them. Sir.
 
So I went to the PO today to mail some items I sold on OTD. I got there right as it opened. First car in the lot. On the front door it says. For OUR “yours and mine” protection, we strongly suggest you wear a mask when entering this facility. “Suggest”. I ain’t drinking the kool-aide so I ain’t wearing a mask any where that I need to go unless it’s mandatory. Go into the lobby and up to the door to the postal area. Again “We strongly blah blah”. Again. Ain’t gonna do it. Walk in. First inside. The democratic postal worker, “excuse me sir, do you have a mask?” Yep. You mind putting it on? Yep. It’s a suggestion, not mandatory. “I understand, but we strongly suggest....”. Sorry, ain’t wearing it unless you tell me it’s mandatory. So I get the, “stupid a$$, racist honky” look. He fumbles and fumbles and finally says, “I’m having trouble logging into the system, you may wanna use the self serve kiosk in the lobby.” Cool, my package is already labeled, I only need priority postage. Go to the machine, get my postage, head to the drop box. Sign “Out of order, please see clerk inside.” I go back inside. By this time there’s 5 or 6 people in line. Excuse me, can I just put this package on the counter? No, you’ll have to wait in line. But you suggested I use the kiosk and the drop box says out of order. I know, but you’ll have to wait in line, I see a problem with your package. So I stand in line. 20 mins. Sir, can I help you? I look at him like he’s a f”@*ing idiot. You said there was a problem with my package and I needed to wait in line. Oh, right. You have the address on one side and the paid postage on the other. So. The common practice is to put them both on one side. Why? Because what if the handler just looks at the one side and thinks no postage was paid and “Returns to Sender?” Then he’s an idiot. But the common practice is to put both on one side. Ok. They giant postage label your machine printed won’t fit on the side with the label on this little box. Well, sir, you should have thought about that when you chose your package. I did. Usually I come to the counter and the clerk prints. 2”x3” postage label that would have fit. But your self serve kiosk prints a postcard size label that won’t fit on the same side. Sir, I’ll take care of it this time but you need to remember the next time you use the PO. Whatever. I’m gonna take care of it for you this time, but please put them both on the same side next time. It’s for your convenience. What is the zip code of your destination? It’s on both sides of the box. Your label and mine. Oh. Is there anything... explosive, perishable, blah blah blah..... No. Sir, did you know it a crime to lie to a postal clerk about a packages content? Yes. Well you just did. How. You have a battery warning label on the box. I know. One of the items has a watch battery in it. But, batteries are considered explosive. AAAarrgghh! Ok. No problem. I put a warning label that package contains batteries as your website says you have to do. But you told me the package does not contain anything considered an explosive. Batteries are explosive. Fine. Sorry. Package contains an item that’s considered explosive. Well then. This package can only go by ground. It can’t be shipped by air. IT’S GOING FROM NORTH OF ATLANTA TO SOUTH OF ATLANTA, IF YOU IDIOTS PUT IT ON A PLANE YOU F@*+ING DESERVE TO BE BLOWN UP. Well, I’m gonna have to mark this package ground only. To which he proceeded to put “ground only” stickers on every inch of the package that wasn’t covered by the labels. Came back to the counter, looked at his bling watch and smirked. Sir, is there any thing else I can help you with today? I leaned in and whispered. You’re a f*^king idiot. Why is that? Because you were pissed that I wouldn’t wear a mask so you thought you’d waste as much of my time as you could and embarrass me in front of the people. But all you did was force a non mask wearing white boy to ignore your social distance for about a half hour. Think about that, dumbass. I cleared my throat with a slight cough, smiled and walked away as he chewed on that thought.
Moral of the story? It ain’t gonna take much to out think and out maneuver them. Sir.
Thx sir, I needed a good laugh this evening.
 
Back
Top Bottom