This is why I installed a Bidet. One of the BEST decisions I ever made. Only pissed it took me 43 years to make it. Zero toilet paper required. I laughed at my other buddies who had them, then I got one and never looked back.
That perp would have had 13 rounds in his ass if I had been in same situation. He presented SO MANY opportunities to be shot. I would NEVER draw on the draw but that moron with the rifle turned his back enough times that I woulda smoked his ass.