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  1. Are you ready to pay Walmart for the privilege of using self checkout?

    Walmart and Target can K.M.A. If they want to go this route, they better have an an attractive associate with her mouth open. And Imma talking about an associate that is verified female (biologically).
  2.

    NASA to attempt a landing on the sun.

    There's a drug called Ozempic that lowers exposure to A1C. I wish there was a drug that lowered exposure to AOC.

  3. Russian tourist eaten by a shark in Egypt

    Dang, that's hard to watch. Very much like the beginning of the first Jaws movie, and that scene turned out to be fairly realistic after seeing this video. People eatin' critters on land or in sea, gotta die, as violently as possible. :)

  4. Florida never disappoints…

    Bonus points for using the word nonplussed!

  5. Ole Willie Nelson has been sick

    Oh no! Is Willie caught in a time warp?

  6. Kroger sells out the 1A and 2A.

    I think Kroger made a similar statement back in 2018. So they must be reaffirming their earlier b.s, riding the coat-tails of recent events to gain more customers. Bastages! Yeah, Publix near me still has tons of gun magazines on the shelf. The "reading" kind of magazines, anyway. :)...

  7. Where Do You Think Chocolate Milk Comes From?

    Dang, they're dumb. Everyone know it comes from cows that eat a lot of chocolate. Duh.

  8. Czech government tells its citizens how to fight terrorists: Shoot them yourselves

    Props to Zeman for pissing on the EU, but sadly it looks like Czech Republic will face too much EU pressure in the near future (if CR stays a member). Could we see a "CREXIT" down the road? And a total ban on military-style rifles that can fire large numbers of rounds would make illegal...

  9. Papa John's workers delivered cocaine in pizza boxes

    "Better ingredients, Better pizza, Better buzz"

  10. Armed Victim Shoots Armed Robber In Groin During Carjacking Attempt

    Sounds like ICE needs to be applied to his wound, and they send his sorry arse home.

  11. M.M.A. Fighter’s Pummeling of Tai Chi Master Rattles China

    He should have practiced his wax on, wax off.

  12. Henry County: Shaquille O’Neal says he’s running for sheriff

    lol. “The first part of the theory is, I’m joking, you idiots. That’s the first part of the theory. The second part is, I said jokingly that when I’m in my bus and I drive from Florida to California, which I do every summer, it seems to be flat. When I’m in my plane, and we’re getting ready to...

  13. Why American Farmers Are Hacking Their Tractors With Ukrainian Firmware

    This may explain why I'm seeing more Asian names on farm equipment these days. Good thing the Ukrainian software supports Windows XP though. :)

  14. More good news and fast

    LMAO at this justificaton: "Switching to nontoxic ammunition should be "a no-brainer" to save the lives of thousands of birds and other wildlife and to prevent hunters and their families from being exposed to toxic lead and protect our water," Sure, Obummer was really concerned about hunters...

  15. Clermont Lounge Dancers Need ODTs Help

    Yikes! My theory is correct.

  16. Clermont Lounge Dancers Need ODTs Help

    The fact there are no pictures of dancers in that article is a bad sign. :grey:

  17. Feel Good Story of the Day....

    His last words... "I said cut the blue wire not the red wi..."(BOOM)
  18.

    Teacher Performs Pantyless Cartwheel For Students

    One student described it like this horrific scene from Alien:
  19.

    Teacher Performs Pantyless Cartwheel For Students

    Those students probably watched the women's march. Therefore, seeing the teacher's snatch would have brought the total number of vaginas (real or caricatures) they've seen in the past week to 17,491.
  20.

    STITCHES PAYS COST FOR DISRESPECTING HANDICAP, ARRESTED ON MULTIPLE CHARGES

    Stitches looks to be more messed up than "The Joker".
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